erm.. wait..

swt.. suppose to blog one more post.. wait other day ba ==''
time suddenly so late d ==''
bb

nite nite..

I've break my promise..

its clear that..
its true that..
i had break my promise to someone..
maybe this is not a big deal..
bring no big change..

but promise is a promise..
i just fail to keep something that was promised..
actually this is not a 1st time that i break a promise..
and i knw it..
but just giving a bunch of crap explanation to make myself to feel not so guilty..

but not this time..
this is not a nice attitude man..
just need to change it..
1st just have to face it..
hope that one day can overcome =.=''
its time to grow up boy..

Grar..

change??

dunno since when ...
i found that..
actually me myself are a perfectionist..
i found that. if i had been given a job..
i just wanna finish it perfectly..
so i do need time to prepare for it..
but sometimes things burst out suddenly..
just not enough time for me to prepare for it!!
or mayb that i just dun have enough confidence on myself...

and seems that..
dunno its since long time before or it just happen lately..
i start to losing confident in so much thing..
and losing confident on myself also..
i start to not believing myself in so much so much thing..
something big that change me??
or this is the real side of me..
i dunno...
who knows..
HE knows..

just hope that my faith to YOU can lead me through all the problem that i face..
all the challenge that have to deal with..
Grar!!

cant i dont be so emo??
Lolz

emo emo

Cry when you are sad

Cry when you are sad..
Roar when you are angry..
Argue when its not right...
Explain to protect yourself...

Hmm..
this seems to be the normal reaction when we face something like this..

But....
i f0und that i start losing these feeling...
the most obvious one is Cry when you are sad..

i born in a normal family.. i think so..
but since i was small..
very very small ...
when very very very small when baby..cry is something normal..
but since my age growing older..
i was be taught to not cry as i were a boy...
something pain i still remember...
when i was small
i did something wrong.. so i been rotan by my father...
i cry..
ppl did cry..
i still remember my father scold that..
you are a boy.. why are you crying.. i hate to see boy cry...
so he rotan even heavy..til....
i stop crying...

this seems to be bring nothing to me by that time..
by all these years..
i almost never cry since i was small...

But i think that most the time..
i change my sadness into angry..

But lately something happen..
something really hurts happen..
thats what i can blame no one..
it also cant be angry for...
so i feel.. sad...
so pain u knw.. haha..
till i wanna cry...
i found that...

I CANT CRY!!zz
= =''

when i feel really wanna cry...
tears just wont come out..
everything was stuck inside..
that be so so pain so so sad..
Lolz..
and so so emo emo..

nwo then i know..
i lose something..

Cry maybe seems to be a normal thing to most of the ppl..
but i knw that bring diff meaning to other ppl...
so..
just wanna said..
its good when u can cry when u are said...
haiz..
go to work ler..

emo emo

Eat eat EAt!!

GOing hilton to have my dinner.. dunno how it feel ler...
tauke bring de no need pay
but feel strange strange because i still not so know worker there..
haiz haiz..

see how lor..

come back then report again.

Being Existing.

I wonder.. if some of u really ever think of this problem..
it may seems bringing no effect to some of you..
but actually after i think days and nights..

this thing hurts, its happy, or its terrified..

some of the people maybe never feel the feeling of losing the feeling of being existing..
surrounding by peoples, and always be the focus in between of a bunch of people..

Some people, they dont even know whats is their position in that party, they even think of ..
What will happen if i leave the group or join the group..
Will it bring any change? Or.. he bring no change to things around him =.='

In some edges of this world..
We can see that many people want people

to care for them
to prove that they are exist

some of them even do things to hurt themselves..
or acting some unexplained insane things in order for ppl to see and say that..

"hey see he is *****..wow lets see what the world said about him"

is this what they want
is this what we want

or is this what i want..

THANK GOD..
until now i still haven do something insane..
but i admit that i always doing stupid things..
but it bring no change to things
Lolz..

after a silly laugh..
the earth is still rotating..
air is till running
people still worrying..
people still thinking..
the world is still running back as how it is..

SO WHAT AGAIN!!

Luckily i still know that ..GOD you never abandon me.. you always be on my side..
always know what i hope to.. and give me by the way of perfect..
I love you.. muackz! Lolz



Maybe people will see i still staying in emo style while i was using English to blogging ..
but, maybe this is how my blog be >.<
BUT there is a notice here： i will opening a blog soon .. not so emo .. so wait for it ba.. i will inform u all as i open it.. if there some one who want to see =.=''

any way.. some funny experience let me think of this issue..
this topic not just pop up from my mind..
as these day i was working..
i think my mind got prob..
i will suddenly get my phone out and see..
but i feel that i was stupid.. as i know that they should be totally no sms for me ..
or call..
i wonder.. who i waiting for??
why i do this??

so i finally give up..
so if some of you sms or call me that i didnt reply..
im so so sorry..
i just wanna let me far away from thinking of this stupid thing =.='

am i exist???
=.=''

emo emo

I accpet ur challenge!!

Haha.. since i always scold Lian is a banana..
So i challenge her for blogging daily using Chinese..
for about..
Dunno how long is it..
Maybe she will like and get use the feeling of blogging by Chinese and use it for forever??
Who knows..

Btw, as for fairness so i this china panda have to accept the challenge to use English for blogging .. swt..

SO WHAT???

so this is my 1st passage using full English for..
i also dunno until when

>.<'' we forgot to put a time limit on this challenge cham.. >.<''